Tainted...

having tests for the whole week...
that explains why I don't really blog much...

I am a bit tired though...

and god... now I'm frustrated because bloody zits are all over my faces just because I ate 2 rows of chocolate! (which I assume is the main cause...)

don't think this is a good week for me..
I feel sticky... and tired again...
I feel heavy... immobile..
I hate my hair.... wanna go cut it soon...
I hate my oily face ...==
I hate everything !!!! GOD!!!

I hate my recent hunger for food!!!!
if its really bloody parasites then FUCK!!! go away !!

I guess I'm having PMS again...

as I go off to bed every night.....
as I wake up every morning...
the feeling is different this week...
even though its been quite sometime...
I'm still haunted...
I'm still traumatised...
I cannot stop thinking negatively....
I know its wrong...
I know I should open my mind up and let go...
but a part of me... that small part of me... still doubts... still paranoid...
I'm still disturbed...

I am really sorry...
I'm just obsessed...
I am still tormented by little uncertain things...

I tried...
I really tried to be positive and not think too much...
but I really cannot let go these kinda things easily....

I guess time will be the only healer...
and I hope this wouldn't affect the stars...
and the white roses that grow beneath my bed...

my midnight tears dried long time ago...
but the source of it all...
has not been kept away yet...
I'm waiting...
for genuine happiness again...

sitting here...
staring at the sun..
and watch the hours pass...
and my icy heart to melt again...