Bye bye 2008!!!!!

2008, was a year of new promises... new hopes and new determination...
but mostly was destroyed halfway...
LOL
you guys know me... the sad ... unmotivated one...
well anyways, it was one hella year too...
I went to NS... did many crazy things, met so many people, experienced so many things...
viewed another new world in a different way I guess I won't have the chance to view anyway,
well nothing to linger there either... I had enough of that.. haha

I went to college... met new, interesting people...
experienced living out there, with my friends... and housemates

did a LOT of crazy stuff in between...
watched the olympics in McDonald's
enter some mad competition which I was so confident I could win but it ended up otherwise...
at least I got into top 10...
LOL..
well anyways, it wasn't Next Top Model or whatever so I'm fine with it...
if it was, I would be walking the runway in Milan right now ^^Top~~Top~~Top~~
lol..
if only the background was nicer...


ouh yeah, worked in a Pc Fair on August?
yeah, Brilliant experience....

celebrated birthday with my friends for once...
lovely people^^

and I found love :D
details = classified

and experienced studying again... pressure of everything from that.. although I broke down halfway
and got into serious depression for a period... now I'm okay... I guess I wouldn't venture into that part again....

at one period I had seriously low self esteem too....

well I guess I am undergoing the highest point of puberty where my raging hormones and inner demons are killing to consume me from within?
hopefully yeah...
cause I can't afford to go through all of this next year..
WHICH IS TOMOROW!!!
@.@

tomorow is a dawn of a new era!
which i say most of the time..
but this one is really a new ERA!!!!
its 2009!!!!

I had the best Christmas of my life!
I had turkey!!!
=.=
finally went to a pub...

gained WEIGHT!
but loose again...

erm what else...
oh nevermind...

so tomorow, although I haven't changed much!
I will be brand new!
I will have the swagger like a businessman+genius+supermodel
and I will be a kinder person...smarter... hopefully..
positive... determined...
and everything nice^^

OH YEAH! I forgot to complained about something..
omg... my clothes... 2 of them are ruined....=.=
white ones... expensive ones....
I just realised it yesterday when I was packing...
ruined by rust.... most probably while hanging in my aunty's in Penang...
T_T....
my lovely clothes...

ConClusion = BYEBYE 2008! HELLO 2009!!!

Late Christmas entry...

i'm tired of blogging sometimes... mostly because I don't get much inspiration anymore..
anyway...
CHRISTMAS!!!!!
which was 2 days ago...
lol...

btw btw, go check out this song I personally think is the coolest christmas song ever
Christmas Tree - by Lady Gaga
she memang D BOMB!

so what did I do on my Christmas eh...
hehehe...
alcohol.. alcohol.. and alcohol...
LOL
true...
ok dont worry I only drink when I'm with certain friends...
don't worry that I'll be addicted or something...
I honestly can't drink anyways...
I just love being in a pub.... not that I go there always either...
:D

so on eve... I makan in a very nice restaurant....
the food is so stimulating and I utterly love the food...
location = classified
sadly I had to wait like 45 minutes because its the peak season and you know lots of customers...
ran out of supplies... need to do this do that..
my mood was a bit off when a pissed customer was complaining to the waitress who can't speak English fluently... sad her...
the customer was a foreigner most probably from England or wherever...

the food she ordered wasn't available anymore
so she ordered again...
and then it wasn't available again but the waitress can't explain the situation because the flour ran out... and she was bloody pissed
" Thanks so much for ruining my Christmas eve! =,,="
with that crying tone...

@.@

anyways, I went to a pub for a countdown...
nothing much to elaborate...
one thing if you guys are curious...
how is it like..
all i can say is lots and lots of smoke...=.= I really can die there...
and crazy people dancing...
and loud music...
oh yeah... and alcohol! :D
I vomitted everytime I go there because of the bloody smoke..
anyways, I had great fun

OH YEAH!
I finally had a taste of turkey!!!!!
bloody tasty:D


after that in the afternoons I met Jessica,Yi Yong and Chee Yee
Jessica cut short her hair and dye it liao wer...
Yi Yong and CY.. never changed..
LOL
which is a good thing in a way
so we chat and drink..
an dinner with Kah Moon
she became prettier and prettier liao wer...
more matured^^
and we catch up on each other lives...
I finally laughed evily again...
and we joked... nothing special...
but that's the special part... being with my special friends who I dearly love
that's the magic of Christmas ^^

anyways. I GOT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
OH
MY
GOD!!!!!



OH MY GOD!!!
I LOVE MY MONKEY SO MUCH!!!
btw its called BERTAL!
lol=.=
don't ask why...
oh yeah in case you're wondering..
yeah that's my new hair =D

Merry Belated Christmas everyone

and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

COnclusion = my best christmas... T_T very touching...

SHOPPING!!! and life...

so when I got back from Malacca...
which I didn't got a chance to even shop...
bloody... but it doesn't really matter...

I shopped! woohoo~~!!
one of my favourite activity :D
but I can't really elaborate here cause I guess a lot of you people aren't really fond of shopping...
so my point is, I went to every giant malls in Penang, worked my leg muscles and eyes...
and I guess I have completed my pick out for my clothes of next year...
yeah... I shop during December for my next year clothes... so at one point my fashion may fade but hey... I wear everything nice de la don't worry... LOL

*I wanna be top~~ top ~~ top~~*
(if you don't know what that means, don't bother)
haha, but I guess all my friends know...

oh yea, I finished a book I just bought which is by....
J.K ROWLING!!!!
oh my god I heart her...
she's my queen....
lol its "Tales of Beedle the Bard" , its like a book of fairytales in the wizarding world..
same like our Snow White, Sleeping Princess, still got what ah... those fairytales la..

and I downright love it... gives me a piece of Harry Potter's world again ^^

this is my version... but I guess the other one is the original version...How come I didn't see this version de=.=...
maybe they have it in KinoKuniya...
but whatever liao la.. already bought..
damn... this one looks so much nicer...
T_Tand the book I mentioned I was determined to finish?
"thanks for the memories " by cecilia Ahern?
lol...
I guess I won't make it in time..
don't know la...
these few days I just go out and makan and shop...

oh oh.! although its kinda late
but I just watched "Twilight" yesterday...
haha!
I bloody love that show...
because its kinda special in a way,
its funny too...
kinda like a modern vampire film
and Robert Pattinson is so gorgeously handsome...
envious envious.... =,,=
and not to mention Kristen Stewart
who looks like a supermodel..
wow...
I mean her face is so wickedly mysterious and dark...
she reminds me of the twins from America's Next top model...

but I got a little bit confused though... at 2 scenes...
both also kissing scenes...
you know why?
not because I'm stupid..
its because they bloody hell censored some parts of it..
damn it...=.=
macam ni pun censor...
censor your brain la bodoh...

oh yeah, good news if you like the movie or just the actors because
there will be New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.
maybe I should go get the books and read it...
hmmm...
haha

oh yeah...
sorry Christine, you know that dream us two transforming into magnificently gorgeous creatures after the holidays?
lol I guess I failed that part...
I think I became more uglier to be honest...
of all that sinful eating... and spices...
and late sleeping.. not because I wanna sleep late..
its my cousins and brother=.=
I go to bed latest by 12
and they play till 1 or 2 or even 3!
and I had to close my eyes so hard that light wouldn't penetrate...
think that's possible?
-.-

well good luck to you lar har ^^
and congrates on the sales

oh yeah, I think most probably I'M going back on 25th of Christmas...
the irony..
I wanted to celebrate Christmas here...
but I guess it won't be a Christmas worth looking forward to this year...
whatever then...

well its not bad... because some of my friends had to work...
so I guess I'm still ok...

this holidays passed by surprisingly very fast!
like express train or flight...
bullet train le...
I cannot believe I will be going back soon...
last few years it feels like I'm drifting in a paradise...
just drifting... without pain... and guilt and misery...

but I really don't want the holidays to go away so fast though...
I still wanna linger...
and forget about everything...

but I guess I'm okay now..
I will go back.. and face whatever that's in store for me...
to face life once again...
with a new face myself...
lol



Conclusion = I think I'm not afraid right now...

Pink Skies of Malacca....

I went to Malacca last friday...
and goodness that was one very very fun trip :D
because I thought that is one truly boring place but really if we look harder... there is more than meet the eyes....

so honestly, I did learn quite a lot about this place and I realised how magnificent the architecture here really is.... can use to make movie le... haha
I reached the "historical city" at early morning~~ and I had dim sum!
but it was sucky=.= ...
lol

and then I joined a tour group and the tour guide really enlightened me by showing us places I went before but never really bothered about its past and story...
brings me back to our "Sejarah" lessons.. and I did this time travel mode thingy with my head to imagine how it feels like when it was last time... kinda failed.. haha

and the food here is very very nice!!!!!
omg!! but its kinda limited of course compared to Penang...
feels like I've eaten all the nice food... or the tour guide dunno how to recommend more... but really...there's one Italian restaurant near Jonker street... omg the pizza is so scrumptious
and the food is so bloody tasty!...mouth watering...

funny though I realise I talk a lot abt food nowadays... oh yeah if you guys are wondering whether did I gained weight?... answer is...
YEAH I DID!!!! YAY!!!! XD
I gained around 4 kilograms... from a good 61 to a marvellous 65!
but....
yeah there's a bloody but=.=
there's always a butt...
I'll reveal later... :D
btw all the pictures here aren't taken by me.. sorry.. I don't have a camera or a good camphone so.... I did took pictures... but my friend are too busy to send them to me so... google lo...
ok I went to this place first... but I forgot the name... sorry! -.-
haha just know that it was a high court and now it just moved and its a museum now...
and the other one was a very grand church which took years to build...
must be divine inside because I heard the materials are all very geniune...
closed though... bloody hell...

and then there was the Maritime Museum which was made from a big big ship!
really an awesome view ... but its kinda boring though...
and if I didn't heard wrong there must be at least 40 over museums here?....
goodness @.@

oh yeah oh yeah I forgot... there's the trishaw ride I didn't got on...
because it cost a bloody Rm30 ringgit or something...damn=.= I can go to other states like that...
mad meh...

walking through the streets of Malacca reminds me of the remarkable streets of Penang...
the shop houses designs are kinda familiar at one point... but in Malacca I noticed the original structures are more into depths than wideness... get what I mean? lol...

and then the other tourists had Nyonya food which I heard was ambrosial... wow...
didn't had it because I can't take spicy food outside if you guys have no idea...
haha...
so I hit the gym with a pal in a four-star **** hotel with the lovely name...
Equtorial Hotel...
LOL... (ok I'm not insulting any parties here... I just thought I sounded funny...)
work out work out work out...
got sored in the muscles...
then I went mum mum...
which was 10 something already
awesomeness right?
-.-

so my friend suggested this place where it sells Wan Tan Mee...
which is most probably the most famous one here...
and the longest to wait...
Good lord....
I had to wait 45 minutes until my dish arrived...
by then I was starved to death...
but of course not... You think I stupid meh?
^.^
I ordered 田鸡 while waiting... written correctly right?
lol I dunno what its called in English...
frog legs? =.=
2 plates of them....
and it was very very savory and delightful!
the texture of the meat is to die for and its kinda cheap!
Rm 15 or something... lol.. I shared ma... my friend said there's a place where they sell a larger sized one Rm60 per plate... next time take me go wer...
YAY! can't wait...
and then I ordered chicken legs... and vegetables....
until the bloody mee arrived..
I was already full...-.-
Water The Flowers huh?
so I can't say really its tasty or not... cause I was gonna vomit at one point at my attempt to push all food in... but kinda tasty la.. can come try ^^

oh yeah..sorry ah.. I dunno where this place is.. LOL!
just ask some local where's the best wan tan mee ^^

then the next day, I went to some temples...
one of them is the Hong Deng temple which is also somewhere near Jonker streets...
...hmmm....
guess I'm not wrong..
lol
lots of temples here honestly, including churches and mosques...
and I think I should save my finger typing on how the architectures are again...
which is beautiful... everything here is beautiful if you just stop a little while longer to fascinate and admire its wonders... all the work put into it...

oh oh! I got makan cendol~~ very tasty wu ^^


and then I went on a small river cruise, which was the place all those trading happened long long time ago... you know we read those in our textbooks?
9km long a river... and the water is so murky and vague...
although it shines and sparkles like crystals are laid on the surface when the light was reflected from the golden sun...
-.-

and then I had Chicken Rice balls!!!very tasty wu...
zzz everything tasty la! lol
now this is the life ^^
yum~~
and then of course, den den Den....
Gates of A Famosa lo...
with the big guns ! bang bang!
I mean canons...
and I climbed all the way up the St Paul Hill ... to take a few snaps....
then went back down... and saw the Malacca Sultanate Place...
and my eyes opened wide....
O.O
and as I was slowly walking towards the entrace..
with my innocent eyes and a curiousity of a tabby cat...
passing through the entrace...
suddenly....
UI! a sound made from out of nowhere=.=
and I looked around and saw a hand in the entrace booth...zzz
"nak bayar ke?"
"mestilah..."
Chesse Burger!
then I turned back and left...

this was what I saw... nice huh?
and then I went to the gym again...
earlier today...
oh yeah I remembered why I love this gym!
It has a sauna and a jacuzzi and a steam!!!
oh my god...
I bloody love the Jacuzzi T_T
heavenly awesome....
then I went to have a luscious dinner of seafood at Simply Fish... its near the Dataran Pahlawan Mall... so you guys can go find it...
delicious~~
and then a little break at a cafe... something to start with Z.. can't remember.. a branch from Secret Recipe...

ouh yeah, the buildings of Malacca at night is very very mesmerising...
betul betul red colour @.@

and then and then... I lost my virginity...
yeah...
I went to a pub...
and then I drank...
and drank... and listened to very loud music...
lol...
haha.. I mean... not that I had sex lol...
I mean my virginity to a club/disco/pub whatever...
lol
oh yeah I saw 2 lesbians kissing..
lol and gay people dancing... damn funny...
but that's all I can elaborate.. I actually am fond of this type of place..
I love the loud music and the alcohol although I can't really drink...
got back around 3...in the morning

the next day... I got sick... because either I was overly tired... or the alcohol..
so the whole day wasted...
damn!
I wanted to go makan buffet and shopping...
but nevermind la...
I had a really good time...
oh yeah! back to the weight issue... I got sick.. and lost 2 kg...
now I'm 63... sad huh?
T_T

so that was my Malacca trip...
I had fun,got drunk, lost my virginity, got sick...and back...

haha
Conclusion = Malacca is actually a very nice place ^^ you guys should try that place out!!

A day at the bitch... sorry I mean beach...

hu hu~~ look! sea~~....

sorry for the late entry people... cause so ma fan le.. wanna upload the pictures... need to find the port and transfer 2 times only can go inside this computer=.=....

so actually, I went to the beach on Saturday.. and if I'm not mistaken the place is called Batu Ferringgi...
well initially my uncle said he wanna take us go see the sun rise..
and I was like yay! never really had the chance to see that before.. what an exciting experience to be... and we were suppose to leave my aunt's place by 6 am..
so must wake up at 5.30 am lo...

******Saturday morning 0.15 am.... 6/12...2008~~~*********
Me: Ui! still don't want sleep ah?! I wanna sleep le... off the computer pls=.=
Cousin Sis : wait la.... I wanna search info on losing weight la....
Me: =.= tomorow need to wake up early le... still don't want sleep.... later cannot wake up how?
C.S : *Bang bang bang* wait la!! I also wanna play C.S.... counter strike dulu... very fun le ^^
Me: =.=....

Some voice in the darkness : Hey post this pizza to Greenland street...
Me: Okay ^^...
*Tuu~~ tuu~~~*
*tuu~~ tuu~~*
I picked up the phone... but no one answered....
weird....
* Tuu~~ tuu~~*
*Tuu~~ Tuu~~*
then I picked up the phone again.... and yet no one answered....
*tuu~~tuu~~
Tuu~~ TUUU~~~ Tuuu!!!! TUUUU!!! TU! TU! TU!!!!!!!!!!!!

@.@
I woke up to the sound of my cousin's house phone...
and at that sec.. I realised...
OH MY GOD~~~!!!!
we overslept liao!
and I looked over to the clock and its written...
6.30 am=.=

"har...loh?"
"wui! now what time liao oh? everyone waiting for you both le.."....

Uh oh...~~~~~~~~

***********************************************************************

I was curious why my uncle still brought me to have breakfast when its 6.45...
then i asked innocently...
"Why don't want fast fast go see sun rise le?"
"=.=... nah sun rise >>>> and he points towards the sky..."

when I look up... the sun is already high up in the skies... shining ....

=,,= ||
Sei Ye....

so whatever la... still can go to the beach and play ma~~ WHee~~~!!!

As I take off my shoes... and jumped into the white...beautiful sand...
walao that feeling...
lol long time never felt that warm... massaging feeling already...
then I really like a little kid running here and there... and feeling the warm sea breeze~~
that literally lifted my soul~~~
then my uncle started suggesting we play some games..
like hiding our shoes and finding them by digging in the sand...
and we ended up loosing 2 sides of slippers... -.-

thank god not mine.. WAHAHAHAHAH...
XD

and then.... and then...

I flew a kite!!

den den DEN!~~


lol~~ BAtman kite wer~~~
my uncle's...

=.= "

and then... and then....
my uncle threw me into the water......
then ma swim lo...~~
but nothing to elaborate...
the difference with swimming in the swimming pool is that.. the sea is saltier...
and there are waves...
enough said...

btw waves are better...
LOL

and then... and then...
we just chat... you know play around with my little cousins... and run around again... and I got a bit bored... so me and my cousin Sis started taking pictures again....
haha...
oh yeah oh yeah~~
and the feeling of strong wind blowing in your hair is superbly awesome!!!

one of the main reasons we came down here is to fish too... and korek those siputs...so my grandmama can cook us dinner with them...
but my uncle's fishing net broke off...
and some of the tools got lost...
and we just ran out of mood...
lol
oh oh.... I took a stupid video of me @.@
lol... just for fun...



jangan tanya kenapa mataku kecil sangat...
itu matahari terik sangat ok ... saya tak ada sunglasses juga...
T_T

then.. at around 11.30... the sun is blazing hot already...
so We agreed not to hang around and get sun-burnt
so off we go... say sayornara to the beach...
and towards delicious plates of Penang delights~~

SAYORNARA~~!!

CONCLUSION= YOU GUYS SHOULD REALLY TRY COMING HERE SOMETIMES ^^ ITS AWESOME!


ok ok... this one actually very ugly... but I just wanna show you guys the view...
LOL...
I thin le~~
haha god I am so fugly here ==
Cute ma? LOL
oh my god I'm such a narcissist

Sape Hexers signing off~~

I suck in producing proper notes...

lol... as the title suggests...
and I guess you guys can guess what it means...
yeah.. I do suck in singing...

during my days here in Penang.... I lost the drive to read... although I haven't finish that novel I bought during May... "Thanks for the Memories" by Cecelia Ahern... but I am determined to finish it before I get back...
because last time when I come to Penang, its the actual time where I got proper mood to sit down quietly to a nice cup of tea and a good book..
now I just rot...
but, I found myself a hobby...
LOL!

although I suck at it..

=.= ... my late uncle was a vocal teacher... so my cousin's house has a karaoke room...
so every afternoon I will go down there... and sing!
chinese songs somemore... since my 2 lovely cousins doesn't fancy English music...
and my god.. I do love singing... but I truly disgust my cousin sister when I sing...
she's no where good either=.=
but she always give me that "I'm gonna puke my lunch although I didn't had lunch because I'm losing weight face" to me when I sing and act silly...

haha yeah... but nevermind la... I'm just enjoying myself ma... cause I can't think things straight lately... and my friend, Rico finally showed up again... he lives next door, and his father is loaded... he has a Ps3... a Psp... a PS2.. Ps1... and a Nintendo Wii...
did I mentioned his flat screen plasma tv is dunno... 30 something inches?...
oh yeah... and his monitor is 20something inches... how nice? ^^....

People with money...=.=...

so in the afternoons, we'll gather in the karaoke room and pretend we're having our own concerts and sing together and act like crazy.. and I will start dancing in a weird way and my cousin sis stars.. and he laughs... now at 10.30 already he still wants me to sing because he's bored..
T_T ... cham...
LOL

oh yeah, my cousin sis is on diet... how come everyone around me on diet ah...
first is Jessica... later Christine...
then this girl....
they always have the weight measuring machine around them and they'll measure everyday...
they eat less... and keep staring at the mirror and ask themself.. "I'm very fat meh?"
then turn to me and ask.. "I thin liao ma? ^^"
@.@
and they dont eat much right now.. although all three of them got big big apetitie..
sad girls...they try so hard...but all progress kinda slow..
LOL I'm so evil...
but for what its worth, they are the girls who are really important to me and I truly love them and cherish them ^^

but I'm also in a weight gaining thingy.. no la.. actually I wanna gain weight but lazy to lift weights and drink protein shakes..
actually no... no money to buy protein shakes and dumbells...
speaking of dumb-bells... is that what they're called? the weights..
ya ho.. they call them weights... hey I just used it in the first line of this paragraph...=.=
but I didn't gain much weight either... T_T sad...

and I have not even step foot into any bloody mall yet!
Oh my god...
but doesn't matter... I can wait...

I wanna be here until after Christmas...
because I don't think I have anywhere else to be...
I don't really have a lover to be with... and my family doesn't really celebrate it...
although I want to celebrate Christmas so much...
maybe in the future... I'll go somewhere with that special someone..
and kiss under a misstle toe (dunno spell.. LOL)
and drink champagne and exchange gifts..
and eat a fat stuffed turkey...

and Nodame Cantabile is back! with season 2 (a Japanese Anime)
maybe I'll watch that when I get back to K.L
I wanna change again.. into a better person...
no I will change..
and I'm slowly changing... so that's a good thing...

Oh yeah, I wanted to wait until my mom come to Penang then only I'll go get a hair cut... because she has a friend who is a hairstylist... but my cousin sis thinks otherwise~~
so most probably I'll get a new haircut this coming Sunday..
very excited about it...
dunno what will happen to my "mop" right now..
now I look like shit..=.=
and my cousin sis keeps complaining I look old..
okay lo.....@.@

so ah.. now I wanna go sleep liao.. because tomorow.. my uncle is bringing somewhere..
kinda excited abt it... although I don't wanna give much details first^^
hehe

Conclusion = although things changed... I will try to make this Penang trip a happy one....

Another stream of light...

YAY! suddenly I got back into a good mood liao...
cause my friend took me out today again... gosh.. bless you man, but because he got a lot of activities going on with his family and other friends too... we only met up to eat and just drove around the places... which is good enough for me already ^^


I ate Duck Rice today! :D
shoot.. forgot to edit the picture.. whatever la.. I dont have a proper camera phone also..
someone buy me for chirstmas lar har ^^thank you for bringing me out man!
cause I seriously thought the spaces between my toes are filling with fungus and my legs are growing thorns...
and I'm giving out carbon dioxide due to..
okay that's just another crap...
but I am rotting at one point...
now I'm back liao.. sitting here..
my cousin brother and sister went to Gurney...
each with their own friends too...

damn... now also haven't get back=.=...
but anyways... just to tell you guys that I'm fine right now...
so don't worry^^


*********************************************************
now you see how serious my mood swings are?...
suddenly this morning bad mood now like went to heaven...
I'm going crazy ...=.=
maybe i need therapy ....hmmm...

Conclusion= PMS jin gao lat!

Maybe a change of name

I realise... there's so much negativity and pessimism around me...

maybe I should change my blog name from My Fairytale to..
MY NIGHTMARE.....

=.=

lol.. and I'm a Nightmare Believer... and everything goes back to dark...

Conclusion... no la... I still believe in everything good and there's still maybe a thread of hope...

ISKH

Everytime when I read the posts you guys posted... I really do feel the pressure because I'm not updating at all...
so this is actually a spam post...LOL

just to tell you guys...
the reasons why I'm not updating...

1. I'm not really in a good mood right now... having PMS (lol, as I like to use it)
mood swings actually I'm having... for so many problems and situations I just cannot deal with...

2. Actually my life didn't got boring... in fact.. so many things happened... but mostly in a bad way... and I don't think I would like to write them here... or maybe I shouldn't... cause its best not to reveal everything....

erm... haha I think just these 2 main points which obviously can be elaborated for pages...

so there you have it... why I'm not updating...

*****************************************************************************

I thought I was stronger... but maybe I was for a period... then I was defeated... by myself.. and everything around me...

I thought I found strength... but my inner hunger made me consume myself and put me in danger...

I realise the words I use... aren't wise... I hurt someone so badly before.... and now... just one bloody conversation actually destroyed a friendship... and all that happiness and hope promised...
I was really looking forward to that happiness I might never get for the next 5 years....
no person ever treated me that good before...

and things changed here in penang... my uncle have a new born son^^
so his kids are his priority right now...
and a lost one who used to cook us great food and bring us around isn't there anymore...
so now I'm stuck here in Penang...
the irony huh? I was really looking forward to come here... but when I got here... eevrything is different...
the feeling isn't the same anymore....
I feel worse... I thought I can recuperate here... restart my system here...
I thought I can run away from all the negativities in Seremban and KL...
but only... I ran into more problems and pain....

but maybe these are all just a perspective...
for being too pessimistic...
but I'm so tired... tired of being optimistic...
because I once was... and I already forgot how it felt to be optimistic... I just remembered how it felt to hope and never get anything I wanted....

I'm so tired right now... I feel wasted...
I hate what I've become...
now I got no mood liao suddenly..
lol
so I stop writing now...

byebye

Conclusion= I'm a hopeless man... a sohai...


LOL
=.=