Through window panes....

Dear readers,

I sit here in my kitchen...
listening to mellow songs while admiring the rich,brown design of the kitchen cabinets...
carefully picked by my lovely mother
and over the kitchen counter,smoky fumes liberating from the cooking pot...
dim streams of light penetrating though the window panes,
illuminating the dark...dam basin..
I cannot help but to feel blessed about life right now.

Tremendously happy I am with all the positive influence I was exposed to and all the interesting people I met.Thankful for the great,lovely people who came into my life and touched my soul.
I could never ask for more than this :D

I finished my A-level a week ago so I'm free!
for now...haha
the days has been lazy....
but I did managed to insert some activities during these days...
I played Paintball with my buddies,
(a chance to show the sadistic side of me.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I managed to shoot my heart out and inflicted pain...hahahaha
but I got shot directly in the head and heart == .. god I suck.... )
watched 2012....
sang ==
oh! and I visited campuses that I am considering....
it was quite fruitful
but I always get mixed reviews.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ==
WHERE SHOULD I STUDY LA IF I WANNA DO BUSINESS?!
HOW COME SOME SAYS MONASH AND SOME SAY TAYLORS?!
ANY SUGGESTIONS?!!
thanks...
LOL

so I'm gonna play until crazy for the whole December :D
wheeeee!
then I guess I gotta find a job by January...
and I really really pray that my results will turn out good... cause I don't know what to feel about my performance during the exam...
I felt numb....
so God, please please, I'm not greedy... last time I took 4 subjects...
now give me 3 A's can already XP
and I pray that all my fellow friends will get wonderful results too ^^

I wonder what surprises year 2010 will have for me.
I'm excited and I cannot wait for a bigger change :D
but zzzzzzzzzzz
speaking of enrollment ....
I'm kinda beaten by the idea of knowing new people...
shy~~
LOL
and hopefully flowers will blossom again ^^
I guess this is it for now.
Good luck to those taking STPM
and have a magnificent holiday to the rest !

Conclusion = Embrace new changes and life ;)
* I'm happy that someone I stopped talking to for months actually replied me yesterday...
LOL! what a surprise @.@
try contacting a lost one, you never know what answers you might get back.
I'm glad I did.

I'm Back ! :D

Dear Readers,

(lol... I guess a little bit change in format and a little bit more courtesy would be sweet ^^)

So yay... I'm back :)
more drama...
haha

A- levels has practically ended and I only have 3 more papers to kill and I will be free :D
so how was life while I was away?
the same-o-stuff I guess... nothing extravagant happened exactly, just enjoyed my life and spending quality time with my friends, having fun and laughing hard. exchanging sarcasm... exchanging insults....and GAZILLIONS OF COLD JOKES....
I just realised I've gotten crazier and loonier due to too much exposure of "The Christine Virus" and pre-exam stress... and to be honest having this stress for 2 months isn't really killing me because I slacked off more than I am suppose to...
but still I pray hard that everything turns out great for all of us

A small new chapter of my life will begin soon...
the big one,I guess will only start when I enroll into a University...
and I will enjoy all the free time I have paying friends visit and spending more quality time and love with my friends and family

(zzz gotta take off my head-gear first.. can't concentrate on 2 things -.- )

well! hmmm... I honestly cannot believe A level is over! yay! although it is one of the best experience and learning process I had.
and I made friends with the coolest people during this period
I sincerely hope our paths will collide again in the future.

I kinda made up my mind with what I will major in already... and its kinda more assured thing.. compared with my choices last time..
unless I really get inspired again....
or I got sent to New York or Italy...
hmmm....
LOL
guess I'll major in Marketing...
yeah, major shock huh? -.-

and my, how time flies!
some friends said I've grown taller and I really really hope that's true and I hope I still am :D
please stop at 185 and I'll be really thankful of my genes and god
I guess I've grown too in all aspects...
well of course we do.. only retards don't...

unfortunately my face is infested by really really aggressive and disgusting pimples T_T
and I really wonder why all of the sudden...
recovery rate is like 40% -.-
and spreading rate is like 55%
I wonder will I ever gonna get my flawless face back....
lol..

plans after this.. hmm...
read like tons of novels....piano.... and relax and just have fun..
oh oh! my latest passion is photography (passion started when I first held a DSLR months ago.. like July?)
AND I DESPERATELY WANT ONE TOO!!!
PLEASE DADDY I BEG YOU TO BUY ONE FOR ME T_T!!!
sob...

and I am so proud of Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga right now :)
they seriously kick ass!!
DID YOU GUYS SAW THE VIDEO OF "BAD ROMANCE"
OH MY GOD!!!!!
IT JUST TOTALLY KILLS ALL RETARDED BITCHES IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY!
AND IT FEATURED ALEXANDER MCQUEEN'S DEGISN!!
WAH-LIAO-EH~~!!
go youtube. it trust me!

and I need to get back on track with the dramas and movies I haven't watch yet.
UBER EXCITED FOR 2012!
and Avatar!
did I mention Prince of Persia.? ok that's next year but fuck! its from the producers of Pirates OTC. that show definitely will give me orgasms...lol
and New Moon!
and Saw 6!! OH MY GOD...
SAW.......*drools...*

well I think I've typed too much...
will update more next time.

Have a lovely day people!

New Moon

The Moon Cake Festival...
also known as the Mid Autumn Festival... doesn't really carry any significance in my life...
I didn't get the chance to taste any delicious moon cakes either.
even though I do yearn for a chocolate flavoured one...

life has been slow... and boring for weeks already...
I just cannot wait to move out of this A level phase...
move on to 2010...
because I cannot bear this dead environment anymore... thank god its all going to end...
with a final war..
and yet... I'm not equipped or ready at all...

so I guess I would most probably die in vain...

at a lot of points... I wanna move out ... detach from my parents...my family
its really negative here.. the energy...
I cannot stand it no longer.. and I always wondered why I can tolerate the energy...
but no... I guess I didn't really fight it through.. it did drained me...
making me tired... and lifeless...
and deprive all my motivation...
to live and grow...

I went cycling yesterday...
and I realised a lot has changed...
the playground which I frequent to when I was young...
has grass growing all over the sand now..
and many tall trees erected in a lot of places...
the second playground...
was burned into ashes...
I wonder what happened to it...
sad..

More beautiful homes were built
yet.. the place is always quiet...
one reason why I love exploring this place..
I love the sound of silence...
it always makes me feel calm.....

I can't wait no longer....
I wanna go away...
Conclusion = Planning of departure...

Smoky fumes and mushroom clouds....

I woke up 5.30 am today...
because I have to pay my late grandma's grave a visit
some prayers I had to attend...

under the blazing sun...
and surrounded by suffocating smoke from joss-sticks..
holding them high to bear another few intervals of incantations...
I felt weird...

awkward thing is...
I suddenly miss my granddad, who passed away when I was 13...
I felt like as the eldest grandchild, I didn't connect with him much...
I should have talked and shared stories with him more
and cherished him more...
equally the same for my other grandparents..

I guess its my problem for being a quiet person...
I am not open enough around people...
I cannot find the comfort to express myself...
and I only choose certain people to share my true self...
I kinda regret having this trait myself
not being able to gain inspiration and knowledge for what could have been

sometimes I wish things are easier...
for a lot of cases...
I wish I could just release myself..
and operate properly
sometimes I wish my loved ones would know, understand and accept..
but its hard though...
and I guess the possibility is incredibly rare...
too much pressure and heartache..
too much disappointments...

still..
searching my way out of this abyss....
the maze with everchanging paths....
for a confirm illumination...
at least one stream of white light to help me pass this phase first
I don't want to linger here anymore...
I wonder the path I will take in the future is another illusion...
or the proper way...
bless me
and surprise me :D

Black and white

more on facebook :D
hope you enjoyed viewing

Vampire Poison...

I kinda hit climax when I read a page of Twilight... (because most probably there would be more thrilling stuff in the future...)
page 219 of the first book to be exact

I hope this isn't illegal... its non-commercial purpose anyway so I guess I couldn't be sued...
anyway!
haha
quote from the book... {I'm kinda promoting the book in a sense =) }

*************************************************************
"I was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through me,amazed that it was possible to be more aware of him than I already was. A crazy impulse to reach over and touch him, to stroke his perfect face just once in the darkness, nearly overwhelmed me. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, my hands balling into fists. I was losing my mind.

My eyes, of their own accord, flickered to him. I smiled sheepishly as I realized his posture was identical to mine, fists clenched under his arms, right down to the eyes, peering sideways at me. He grinned back, his eyes somehow managing to smolder, even in the dark. I looked away before I could start hyperventilating. It was absolutely ridiculous that I should feel dizzy.

The hour seemed very long. I couldn't concentrate on the movie - I didn't even know what subject it was on. I tried unsuccessfully to relax, but the electric current that seemed to be originating from somewhere in his body never slackened. Occasionally I would permit myself a quick glance in his direction, but he never seemed to relax, either. The overpowering craving to touch him also refused to fade, and I crushed my fists safely against my ribs until my fingers were aching with the effort.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Mr.Banner flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched my arms out in front of me, flexing my stiff fingers. Edward chuckled beside me. "
*******************************************************************
*breathes deeply...*

as I go through this page...
my hair stood up...
my eyes widen,
I felt ticklish...
and I couldn't help but laugh...
very loudly
and literally felt slight spasms...
I suddenly realise...
god... this feels wrong because...
why am I reading mushy things like this -.-
suddenly my brain snapped and yeah... this is indeed a chick book I guess?
yet...
the very poison that damaged my mind manifested itself..
the absolute reason why...
I kept going back for more...
more Twilight... is because I find it bloody entertaining to read this weird..
teenage... stuff...
haha
and Edward Cullen's overwhelming perfection...
is kinda infectious...
*cough* homo..*cough*
LOL

seriously... the way Stephenie describe Edward is so exaggerating...

anyway what a fun read!

signing off, and going back to more blood....

Itchy...

that's how I feel right now...

since a few weeks ago... I came to realise, after moving away from home for one and a half years already... my body isn't adept to the germs in my house anymore...
cause every weekend when I come back... my neck starts itching and turns red....
and other places itches too ... -.-
but the neck is the most uncomfortable and awkward part...

Its the Raya holidays~!
so Selamat Hari Raya to all :D
and I'm thinking whether or not should I give myself a one week holiday since we're given till Wednesday... and only another 2 more days till Saturday... hmm
hehe....

and I guess my neighbours would be bloody annoyed by me now
for the reason I kept playing the same song on piano for weeks... and at least 10 times a day...( I taught myself the piano so I don't have a range of compositions to play thank you very much and I only have the motivation to learn the music I like so don't give me the learn a new song then shit :D )
actually I wanna learn "kiss the rain" but no printer so...
someone print for me?
that would be divine...

hmm.. speaking of neighbours.. I wonder how they think of me...
LOL
guess they confirm I'm the crazy, lunatic neighbour just months after we moved in...
I make weird noises in the house a lot when I'm frustrated...
and I scream too randomly...
LOL
which is such an emotional satisfaction...
I pity my future lover though...
unless that one is crazy as well...

and its been such a long time since I updated...
I have already went back to the no inspiration mood...
but this update is obviously synonymous to me-typing-my-frustrations-down-because-I'm-having-PMS :D
no particular reason though...
maybe its because I just feel itchy and hot...
I hate the weather generally...
and whenever I think of weather... I think of our near-death planet...
which is so sad that there are still mindless people polluting the Earth,
not that I'm being perfect and leaving no carbon footprints..
but at least I'm doing little things to help reduce

and for lovely routine that I just adapted...
4 hours of Twilight but 50 pages of it...
I wonder what happened to my reading skills...
most probably the my absent mind drifts away too much...
that is one part of me I cannot let dominate...
and 1 hour of proper studying..
I'm doomed...
haha

plus,
not that no one knows...
but my love for Lady Gaga has catapulted to the top of the pyramid
she is A-W-E-S-O-M-E
her interviews are enlightening
and her shows..
GOD her shows... are mind-blowing!
if she ever comes here, I definitely will buy front row!
even watching her from the videos is freaking ecstatic XD


the camera is a bit off though...
but god.. the opening is superb!

time to sign out now cause I finished working out my fingers

COnclusion = Wanna go sleep...