Tears...

Ever watched touchy videos... and your hair stands up...
your heart trembles....
and a cold icy feeling run down through your spine?
sometimes the feeling is so intense... you choke up..
and tears start stirring in your eyes...
if you let go...
the warm..slow tears just runs through your cheeks..
and you feel insecure again...

I have been unhappy for quite a long time already...
and its not like I'm not showing signs...
I've waited...
and I've hinted..
and I've confronted...
but nothing is really changing...
and so it has reached my limit...
its time to move on...
and let go...

I just talked to a friend...
and he showed me some videos..
and I pressed some links..
and god...
how intense they were..
and I would love to share them to you guys..
and hope..
you guys would appreciate the people around you more...
and take control of life...
and appreciate your love ones...
and yourself...





and yeah... these questions are often asked by me...
sometimes I have the answers...
and the answers kept me going in life...
but the answers always change...
there wasn't really a constant answer..
you were once the answer to life...


and yes.. these kinda questions do pop up in my mind as well...
especially the times when I feel constant pain in my brain..
and I can't help but to guess..
that it might be something else..
and sometimes I'm scared...
if I am dying.. will there be someone for me..
or is it better to die alone...
will I be holding someone's hand for the very last second...



and I do realise...
you do not belong to me...
and all those promises will never come through..
I don't see a future in it anymore..

I am sorry to say...
there is no hope anymore...
its time for me to move on now...

Goodbye pain...