Random talk...

I'm in a not so good mood right now...
maybe because I'm bored...
maybe because I lost motivation momentarily..
my trials just ended last week..
and my results ain't good...
I still cannot figure out what I am suppose to do in the future...
what is my niche...
what can I do to contribute to the society...
what can I do to survive...
what can I do to live...

I've been soul searching for so long..
and yes I got some small answers in the process...
and I realise how weak I am too...
I've learnt some life lessons in the hard way...
sometimes I wish I could do it all over again...
yet, there are too many mistakes I've done...
cause I shouldn't regret anything at all..

Tomorrow is the Pikom Pc Fair again..
I wanted to work so much...
but the places were filled up..
damn it..

I just don't know what is wrong these days...
things just are unpleasant...
not that I'm so negative...
its just hard to deny the unpleasant situations happening around me...
or maybe yeah...
I am attracting negative stuff... because of what I'm thinking...

Maybe I'm still sad...
of what happened ....
yeah...
I admit I haven't let go...
and I don't think it will be soon....

Anyway, I won't be going back home this week... and maybe for the next few weeks... or months...
because I have extra classes on Saturday...
and exams coming up..
lazy to get back...
I miss my family....
but not really that much...
not that I don't love them...
I'm just tired ....

I guess I want to go Penang again..
my escape island...
but I don't think the feeling will be the same again...
due to some circumstances...
everything is so different now...

I'm tired...
and I am confused...

Someone save me...