What to do after a series of unfortunate events...

Hmmm...
okay, maybe I should changed the title to "WHAT I DID AFTER A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS" because I don't think most common people would react like how I did...

I guess one of the unfortunate event that happened to me recently is...
ADAM LAMBERT LOST!
(yeah yeah I know its like so long ago that Kris Allen won... BUT OH MY GOD!! DAMN, ADAM LAMBERT LOST!) ==

so how did I moved on from that? well... we'll just see when albums are launched ^^


(check out this video to listen to what could have been his single)



and compare to Kris'
well you can argue that both are of different styles but ....
OH COMON!
ADAM LAMBERT IS SO MUCH BETTER IN TERMS OF RANGE, EXPRESSION AND EVEN THE BLOODY INSTRUMENTS!!!
==
its crappy when people say Adam is only showing off his vocals and isn't connecting,
I personally felt that even in this song, "No boundaries", Adam is telling someone who gives a shit about life to hang on and blah blah
and Kris Allen is honestly boring==
well of course he is good, that's how he ended up in the finale anyway but...
WE HAVE SO MANY KRIS ALLENS EVERYWHERE THAT'S THE PROBLEM==
if he doesn't reinvent himself... which obviously we cannot expect much, since he's a boy next door and being too humble :D (that is what actually attract people these days ... goodness)
everyone is just gonna be tired of him I bet ...

some people thinks Adam Lambert is too gay
too exaggerating...
too much screaming... -.- what the fuck!
that is not screaming la come on......@.@ Oh so damn funny.... HAHAHAHAH
too this... too that== oh crap !... those are just nonsense... and bullshit!
well anyway, preferences will be preferences...
you guys know me...
I'm no ordinary guy...
at least for my taste in every aspect ^^

*yawn*~~

after that, I realised how stupid I am... actually I already realised that long time ago.. but not to this extent...
I screwed up so much in my exams , theory and practical,
never have I ever felt so blunt before! goodness...

half way through my chemistry practical I swear to myself
NEVER EVER DO CHEMICAL ENGINEERING YOU FOOL!
I see clearly now that, I'm never gonna lay my arse on some stool and do research on any bloody chemicals or biology specimen!

and yet, my future is still so obscured ....
I still cannot find any light ==
WHERE IS MY CALLING?!!!!
T_T

Okay I released that frustration...
after that...
one of the most hebetudinous
most stupid
most dumb
most brainless THING I ever done in my life, is
getting scammed == and I knew what is going on all along...
I just don't understand why I wasn't reacting properly and ran away from all that shit ...

and now I lost all my savings...
2.4k ... how sweet?
and the funniest thing is, Jessica messaged me that day,
to tell me wonderful news!
guess what? @.@
HER MOM JUST WON 2 TICKETS TO EGYPT
AND IT COST RM2400!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
how fun my life could get :D

well honestly I'm still traumatized by that incident..
but on that day... I felt nothing... of course I feel so fucking stupid...
and no, its not because I get money easy and that amount doesn't matter me...
honestly I am breaking down .... pieces by pieces...
mentally and physically...
I can't really feel....
and I feel so seriously blur
and my knowledge and intelligence is draining...

I FEEL SO DAMN STUPID!!!!
I FEEL SO DISCONNECTED FROM MY BRAIN!
its like its dying or something...

that day, I ended up laughing and laughing at the situation...
and actually consoling someone who is supposed to be consoling me...
so what the hell is wrong with me?!

maybe I'm already at the stage where I lie to myself too much I cannot differentiate reality and fantasy anymore...
maybe my happiness is fake... and I'm forcing it..
but even I believe in that fake happiness already...

HAHAHAHA
Looking back at what I've typed.. I think I'm such a troubled complicated shit..
but to whom concerned...
what we have is never fake, I hope you know that ^^
I still wake up like this every morning ...
I wonder is it a good sight or a bad sight...
hmmm

Conclusion = Thank god I'm still living... as in... I still feel my surroundings and I am still aware of emotions developing and lost...

I need to break free from my chains...