larmes....

Je continue de pleurer pour toi....

Je suis désolé

Random talk...

I'm in a not so good mood right now...
maybe because I'm bored...
maybe because I lost motivation momentarily..
my trials just ended last week..
and my results ain't good...
I still cannot figure out what I am suppose to do in the future...
what is my niche...
what can I do to contribute to the society...
what can I do to survive...
what can I do to live...

I've been soul searching for so long..
and yes I got some small answers in the process...
and I realise how weak I am too...
I've learnt some life lessons in the hard way...
sometimes I wish I could do it all over again...
yet, there are too many mistakes I've done...
cause I shouldn't regret anything at all..

Tomorrow is the Pikom Pc Fair again..
I wanted to work so much...
but the places were filled up..
damn it..

I just don't know what is wrong these days...
things just are unpleasant...
not that I'm so negative...
its just hard to deny the unpleasant situations happening around me...
or maybe yeah...
I am attracting negative stuff... because of what I'm thinking...

Maybe I'm still sad...
of what happened ....
yeah...
I admit I haven't let go...
and I don't think it will be soon....

Anyway, I won't be going back home this week... and maybe for the next few weeks... or months...
because I have extra classes on Saturday...
and exams coming up..
lazy to get back...
I miss my family....
but not really that much...
not that I don't love them...
I'm just tired ....

I guess I want to go Penang again..
my escape island...
but I don't think the feeling will be the same again...
due to some circumstances...
everything is so different now...

I'm tired...
and I am confused...

Someone save me...

Now what...

So now I finally finished my trials..
and my results are still sucky...
haha
but since I'm trying to be positive right now...
I should say...
(erm.. this is hard..)
my results aren't as expected and I should try harder because it wasn't that hard in the first place^^
lol
well honestly yeah... I just realised it wasn't that hard after all.. you just really need to motivate yourself and revise revise revise!

so from the previous post I did mention about drama this and that but I don't think I can write that right now because...
I guess I moved on and I am slowly letting go of those negative energies and sad memories...
don't wanna write them here..
because I guess all those dreams and hope are just illusions..
and assumptions...
which are not meant to be...
and I guess I shouldn't hang on to them any more...

so anyway,
I went to watch THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS 4!!!
I like it but I don't know why I didn't get that adrenaline rush action movies should give...
but hey, the girls are smoking hot!
and the cars are so so so cool~~
oh yeah, watch out for Terminator 4 too!
the trailer is total awesomeness!!


when we're just about to head home...
we realised..
our friend's car tyre got punctured...
deliberately by someone we do not know...
god... I realise unfortunate things keep happening these days..
the bus I got on crash into another car..
(nothing serious)
my friend got robbed...
I overslept and ended up not studying...
and the other thing....

but!
to be positive..
I guess I have to take them as lessons from God...
or awareness... of how to be careful and appreciate stuff?
lol

and I realise... I did a lot of shitty stuff to upset people...
I realise how selfish I am and the things I said really affected people in so many ways..
so I am sorry about that...
I hope it doesn't sound cheap=.=

Conclusion = Growing up...

Tagged by Melvin Goh

1. The person who tagged you?
Melvin Goh

2. Your relationship with him/her is
Coursemates :D

3. Your impressions of him/her
very determined guy, hardworking and serious. oh and I admire that he works and study at the same time.

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you
erm... for this moment I can only think of he driving me back to my condo. which i really appreciate^^ thanks

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you
err=.= honestly dude I cant remember sorry..

6. If he/she becomes your lover you will
never will happen...-.-


7. If he/she becomes your lover,things he/she has to improve on will be
no idea...=.=
omg Melvin this is weird...

8. If he/she becomes your enemy,you will
I dont have enemies... ^^
never will

9. If he/she becomes your enemy,the reason will be
us being too childish and immature to handle conflicts

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now
tell him how I admire his motivation and studying ethnic

11. Your overall impression of him/her is
efficient and productive

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?
serious and cool to those who don't know me
crazy and bubbly to those who know...
over-the-top... full of myself...selfish... but infectious..^^

13. The characters you love of yourself are
my emo-ness and never give up heart.

14. On the contrary,the characters that you hate about yourself
not productive...slack-off... not responsible... not smart enough....not loving enough.... not being appreciative... not determined....
omg do you really want me to go on...

15. The most ideal person you want to be is
erm... a better version of myself...
someone who can walk into everyone's life and illuminate them

16. For people who care and love you,you say something to them
I love u...

17. Pass this test to 10 persons who you wished to know how they feel about you
~1~Christine Lay
~2~Ah PAN!
~3~JEssica!
~4~Kah Moon!
~5~Angeline :D

18. Who is no.6?
I only did 4 people....

19. Is no.9 a male or female?
a transsexual..

20. If no.7 and no.10 together,is that a good thing?
no idea

21. What is no.2 studying about?
Architecture..

22. When is the last time you had a chat with no.3?
yesterday

23. What kind of music band does no.8 like?
dunno....

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
yeah.... 3

25. Will you woo no.3?
lol never.... best friends^^

26. How about no.7?
whoever it should be... no... not looking for one

27. Is no.4 single?
yes she is...from what i last heard..

28. What is the surname of no.5?
LAW!

29. What is the hobby of no.10?
-.-

30. Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
never..
lol

31. Where is no.2 studying at?
Taylors =.=

32. Talk something casually about no.1
she is one of the most interesting girls I ever met^^

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no.6?
nope... cause no.6 is just air..

34. Where does no.9 live at?
ai yo....

35. What colour does no.4 like?
erm....Lavender? dunno wo...

36. Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
good friends..

37. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
nope=.=...

38. What is no.6 doing now?
dunno..

Stress...

equals to Force over area...
but this equation is usually related to tensile stress...
so am I being squashed?
crappy question...but emotionally and spiritually yes...

the force of everything from the universe which acts on the total surface area of my body...
how do you calculate that force?
its not confirmed actually, it's something dependent...
on how you accept and perceive things..
how you react to changes and situations...
how much force you let react upon you...

Good evening, I am your friendly friend...
Sape Alexander Hexers ^^
and I'm back :D

for the past month so many things happened and changed...
well I definitely changed...
relationships were formed and destroyed...
I lost someone I dearly heart...
and I realise a lot more about myself in a short time...
yes... everything is negative
but I guess its time to switch polars and try to live life productively and try hard to be happy now
it was effortless long time ago...
but the circumstances and short-comings I'm facing from the last update really made me realise..
nothing is for sure...
nothing is promised...
and what we do... the minute things... the stupid things you say...
actually, can make a serious drastic change...
situations may even be fatal...
at one point I thought I died... slowly...

right now, I don't wanna think about anything...
but people,
more drama from the
past,
present,
and future is coming!

I am BARK!!!!

Conclusion = I have 2 more trials paper to complete so this is short...
wait for my story....
(If I still have listeners out there.... haha)

Valentine's from a Fairytale...

well yesterday was valentine's, I didn't got the chance to spend it with a lovely princess so I decided to have a few moments of romance with my imaginary girlfriend and I made up this story to entertain you people ^^

if you think I'm referring to me...
then think all you want :D

Once upon a time, in a land not so far far away, a prince was very much in love with a lovely young princess.The Prince was Prince Alberto Lapesdraz and the princess was Princess Allasandria Weeneiza. Too bad they are living far apart and he actually has another princess...
so its actually an affair... and she knows about it but she decided to love him because that bastard stole her heart away first... then only he told her about the case...
but actually that princess also was retarded because she didn't think properly of what may come and what will hurt her in the future for being in a relationship like this, until now she is so terribly in love with the prince charming....

anyways, it was VALENTINE'S DAY!
and after finishing class in magic school, she hurried off to the station to get on board on the flying dragons off to the south! to meet her prince charming, who was working his ass off...

after hours of ride in the sky, with her gorgeous black hair blowing everywhere~~
she finally landed on Macania, the place where pirates meet.
she didn't got a present for him but we all know what guys want XD
anyways,
prince charming was waiting for her at the station already, on his greyish horse,
his ever attractive body made Princess Allasandria high~~
they embraced and rode off to somewhere...

on the way, Princess Allasandria was pissed! because Prince Alberto told her he couldn't spend much time with him because he's cheating on her with another Princess who is equally sexy...
now that's honest...
and he couldn't book a room in the luxurious castle to spend the night with her...
and most probably they'll be renting a hut in the village...
Princess Allasandria was disappointed... how could all these things happens on Valentine's day..
she wanted it to be perfect... and she was ready to show him her Amy...

Prince Alberto held her hand all the way... and when they passed to a thick jungle, directing their way to the so called village...
to Princess Allasandria's surprise, it revealed a HUGE castle!
made from diamonds of all kinds!
and their room was just amazing!
the furniture was of coffee scent, bright colours...
the pillows were fluffy and big!
Princess Allasandria was so surprised and excited at the same time!
"This is my surprise for you my love"
Princess Allasandria was so touched, and in tears
she pulled him in...
they kissed passionately and had hot saxophone...

after they cleaned their instrument,
cause after blowing hard into an musical instrument and making sexy music..like jazz
you gotta clean the saliva and the... what is that called? reeds?
yeah reeds..
and polish it too!

they went down to the restaurant to have dinner together, they had Japanese :D
and it was lovely...

(hmm... i'm starting to get bored of this...)=.=

oh anyways,
they decided to buy a bottle of red wine and a bottle of white wine to celebrate in a nearby bar...
and they drank and drank and talk to each other..
looking deeply into each other's eyes...

and drank until their sorry asses are drunk...
and when the clock striked 12...
fireworks blasted the sky
with magical dust and colours of heavens

Prince Alberto suddenly kneel on the ground and pulled out!
he pulled out!!!
HIS!
ring which was accident, he then pulled out another sparkling blue sapphire ring from his robes and stare into Princess Allasandria's eyes...
she jumped, and held out her hand...
the ring fitted perfectly ....

now i'm really bored.... hmm..
oh anyways,
they live Happily Ever After~~

Conclusion = Happy Valentines!

btw btw I FREAKIN LOVE ADAM LAMBERT!!
ANYONE WATCH AMERICAN IDOL?!!
OMG I WANT HIM TO WIN!
HE IS SO TALENTED!
and i wanna slap that Tatiana girl...
eventhough she is so fucking funny, the way she laughs...and speaks...
and irritates Simon..
LOL


THIS IS THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!!!
BTW I LOVE HIS STYLE!
its so me... i mean what i wanna be although my friends cant accept it if I dress like that=.=
god..

6M REuNION~~

WA!I cannot believe we still could meet each other after~~...erm..
wait let me count...
1...2..3...4....wait...2....3....4....5....wait...0...

7 years?! (Me bukan retard...jangan drop comments~~ tentang saya kira kira...LOL)

surprisingly, 18 showed up!
I mean out of... how many? 44 ? lol... but the point is... this kinda reunions... with primary friends somemore... I expected like 9 or 10 showing...
and the no. is actually more than last 2 years which was the first re-union after we left primary...
that time only 13 showed up (according to Mr.Ray)

most of them changed!
I mean... actually everyone changed, if you compare to so so long time ago... if you don't... then most probably you need hormonal injection or something...

haha, cause I still meet up with them once in a while, so I don't really feel drastic changes in them.. except for Michelle!
wow! she looks like a Taiwanese star in real!

and I personally thinkH.C.L change of style is so nice :D
Jess ah... you always leng de la... don't ask =.=
don't come beat me anymore ah T_T

anyways... I always had to complain...
so...
SHITTY wei...
my friends can't really eat.. I mean most of them.. and that made me lost appetite too..
Rm18...
wooosh~~~

I had a great time though..
catching up with all my friends :D

then of course...everyone didn't spare the opportunity to camwhore..
haha

oh yeah, we played a prank on RAY=.=
we mixed butter with Durian flavoured ice cream...
and...
-.-
HAHAHAHAHA!!
god I'm so bad....

actually I lazy to upload... go here tengok lar har :D
http://ray26secrect.blogspot.com/
Good Night

Conclusion = Why the rest of the leng luis no come de ah?