Another stream of light...

YAY! suddenly I got back into a good mood liao...
cause my friend took me out today again... gosh.. bless you man, but because he got a lot of activities going on with his family and other friends too... we only met up to eat and just drove around the places... which is good enough for me already ^^


I ate Duck Rice today! :D
shoot.. forgot to edit the picture.. whatever la.. I dont have a proper camera phone also..
someone buy me for chirstmas lar har ^^thank you for bringing me out man!
cause I seriously thought the spaces between my toes are filling with fungus and my legs are growing thorns...
and I'm giving out carbon dioxide due to..
okay that's just another crap...
but I am rotting at one point...
now I'm back liao.. sitting here..
my cousin brother and sister went to Gurney...
each with their own friends too...

damn... now also haven't get back=.=...
but anyways... just to tell you guys that I'm fine right now...
so don't worry^^


*********************************************************
now you see how serious my mood swings are?...
suddenly this morning bad mood now like went to heaven...
I'm going crazy ...=.=
maybe i need therapy ....hmmm...

Conclusion= PMS jin gao lat!

Maybe a change of name

I realise... there's so much negativity and pessimism around me...

maybe I should change my blog name from My Fairytale to..
MY NIGHTMARE.....

=.=

lol.. and I'm a Nightmare Believer... and everything goes back to dark...

Conclusion... no la... I still believe in everything good and there's still maybe a thread of hope...

ISKH

Everytime when I read the posts you guys posted... I really do feel the pressure because I'm not updating at all...
so this is actually a spam post...LOL

just to tell you guys...
the reasons why I'm not updating...

1. I'm not really in a good mood right now... having PMS (lol, as I like to use it)
mood swings actually I'm having... for so many problems and situations I just cannot deal with...

2. Actually my life didn't got boring... in fact.. so many things happened... but mostly in a bad way... and I don't think I would like to write them here... or maybe I shouldn't... cause its best not to reveal everything....

erm... haha I think just these 2 main points which obviously can be elaborated for pages...

so there you have it... why I'm not updating...

*****************************************************************************

I thought I was stronger... but maybe I was for a period... then I was defeated... by myself.. and everything around me...

I thought I found strength... but my inner hunger made me consume myself and put me in danger...

I realise the words I use... aren't wise... I hurt someone so badly before.... and now... just one bloody conversation actually destroyed a friendship... and all that happiness and hope promised...
I was really looking forward to that happiness I might never get for the next 5 years....
no person ever treated me that good before...

and things changed here in penang... my uncle have a new born son^^
so his kids are his priority right now...
and a lost one who used to cook us great food and bring us around isn't there anymore...
so now I'm stuck here in Penang...
the irony huh? I was really looking forward to come here... but when I got here... eevrything is different...
the feeling isn't the same anymore....
I feel worse... I thought I can recuperate here... restart my system here...
I thought I can run away from all the negativities in Seremban and KL...
but only... I ran into more problems and pain....

but maybe these are all just a perspective...
for being too pessimistic...
but I'm so tired... tired of being optimistic...
because I once was... and I already forgot how it felt to be optimistic... I just remembered how it felt to hope and never get anything I wanted....

I'm so tired right now... I feel wasted...
I hate what I've become...
now I got no mood liao suddenly..
lol
so I stop writing now...

byebye

Conclusion= I'm a hopeless man... a sohai...


LOL
=.=

Crazy for Penang food....

what do a normal, sane mind would do when they first reach Penang?
dive into the crystal clear... sapphire water of the white beaches of Penang or shop at the newest , colossal,gigantesque! malls.... omg! O.O
saya le..
saya makan dulu^^ cause mum mum damn nice... and sinfully CHEAP...
omg=.=....
*drools...*

On friday, a very good friend of mine took me to food Paradise....
MUKYA! XD

and we ordered Curry Mee, Chicken Rice, Prawn Mee (a.k.a Hokkien Mee) and Char Kuey TIAO!!!!!!
in one sitting... lol we shared of course..
oh yeah, and for dessert we had Ais Kacang..
Oh my god...

then we just hang out around.. blah blah blah.. ^^

btw if any of you guys coming to penang
I heard the cendol in penang road is nice
and the duck rice near Prangin mall is awesome!
and the asam laksa in Air Hitam..
but anyways, everywhere also nice de
and try the Lao hao zui.. its a drink.. just order it..
LOL^^

Conclusion = Yay... finally got nice food again ^^


but I haven't go to the beach or shopping yet wo... T_T

GOING OFF TO PENANG LU!!! WHEEE!!!

guys, sayornara ! ^^
haha, I'm going to K.L today... since its 1.40 am right now... which is a Tuesday thank you very much
and then maybe shop a little, if the shopping experience is exciting enough, maybe I'll do another update.. haha
and then... OFF TO PENANG ON THURSDAY!!! YEAY!!!
TO HEAVEN!!!! TO UTOPIA!!! TO PARADISE!!!

and today,which is a Tuesday
I went to visit some distant family members...
then to 1 utama... which I bought a brand new shirt! whee ^^
(nothing much to elaborate....so..)

anyways guys, just to tell you I'm off to my lovely paradise
and I'll do anything to update you guys
I'll go to the cyber cafes... use my cousin's computer..
or even break into some old hag's home...

so...
YAY!!!

Conclusion= YAY!!!

Far away from school~~

Ok ok... sorry for not updating regularly again =.=
haha... but recently I just lost the interest to write again...
I am still me... but not the happy me... I mean, of course I am happy at times.... you guys get it la
still having PMS...lol
Guan Da said its called "Emo Strike" for guys?
but I thought PMS sounds funnier so I'm still gonna use the word PMS~~

anyways, enough with hormones...
and sanitary pads...
its the HOlidays! yay~~...
well even so... sometimes I still feel stressed... if you guys still don't know me.. I don't know how to have fun when I am supposed to and work hard when required...
so I messed up my feelings and energy and in the end I get nothing done...
and I blame myself again..
wow, I am actually causing lots of pressure and chaos to myself aren't I?

but anyways, during the holidays I did enjoyed myself~~
I drank beer...
I ate some very nice food~~
and I watched some very nice moovies~~
and OH MY GOD!!
I REALLY REALLY LOVE MADAGASCAR 2!!
lol its so freaking damn funny, I never really enjoyed laughing to a movie for a long time already....
some people said Madagascar 1 is better... but I kinda forget how was it already... I guess I was very tired when watching it...
but anyways!! LOL the characters are damn funny...
especially King Julien and his gay-ness~~ their expressions are really really incredible...
salutes to the creative team and producers..
and the penguins! lol... and that old lady... who is kinda irritating.. and she walks weird..lol I laugh everytime when I see her walk..=.=
and that big CHIPMUNK thing which cannot stop laughing! -.- lol...
i really love that one...
anyways, its a very very enjoyable show..
I'll recommend it to anyone :D

and I watched James Bond-Quantum of Solace...
lazy to check the dictionary for the meaning though...
damn... I love the action sequence~~ the way the camerawork moves and how the actions choreography was potraited was one hella ride... really intense ^^
and Olga kurylenko is very very sexy~~ and HOT...
szzz......
smokin~~
well of course, I get to become a pig again...
sleep and eat.. and sleep...
and play....

oh yeah, My aunt from penang and kl came!
with my lovely cousins~~
and a friend..
lol who I don't know and don't care to be honest...

and then we catch up on each other lives again over tea...
and my stupid weight gaining plan failed...
miserably.. I actually got to tone my biceps and triceps into a nice shape.. but it went back to girly slim after 3 weeks of not going to the gym=.=.... damn...
I seriously need a membership and a coach or something...

oh yeah, went to Jusco and few times and Kah Moon is working in Skin Food, and boy she does look good with her new hair...
and Jessica...well, she's always her...
she's working in Green Box XD !!!
so enough with this post....
gotta go....Ewww... creeps... we look down on you.... BAhaha...

Conclusion= I ain't doing anything meaningful this holidays... T_T

what now...

so my test 3 is over... 2 days ago...
so what now? fun? well right now I'm not really excited about the break...
got kinda emotional because of numerous factors...

well anyways... I've lost track of my high school friend's life...
and I don't know where to start...

am I really troubled emotionally and physically or is everyone going through the same thing as me... either this is puberty and raging hormones... all its just the dark inner world I'm living in and everything from the past, the present and the future I predict rolled into one ....

once again... I feel trapped...lost...confused... and haunted...
by myself.. time... emotions... people ... past present and future...
I hate myself... for what I am... and sometimes I do love myself... but that's when I thought there are people who love me too... for who I am... but I am actually not just an average guy....
I'm more than that... I think too much... but I cannot stop it... thinking the unnecessary and creating more chaos in my soul and making myself lost in the world that should have never existed...

Dark secrets I have... but other people do... and I know that there are more people out there... far more tragic than me... far more unfortunate...
but I am one of them too....
feeling so lost... and in deep torment...
yeah I know what you are thinking...
"this guy is pitiful"
"get over it"..."move on"..."be positive" blah blah blah...
tell me something I haven't heard of please...

**************************************
anyways, that was what how I felt yesterday... and almost everyday....
I stopped writing halfway, today is a Monday.... a morning... where I woke up like last time... greeted by birds... and I can sleep well again...
ah... I miss the holidays...

and the way my mood changes like a girl=.=

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!!

CONCLUSION= cause you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no~~ you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down, you're wrong when its right, its black and its white,we fight we break up, we kiss , we make up~~~ LOL I love that song~~