ISKH

Everytime when I read the posts you guys posted... I really do feel the pressure because I'm not updating at all...
so this is actually a spam post...LOL

just to tell you guys...
the reasons why I'm not updating...

1. I'm not really in a good mood right now... having PMS (lol, as I like to use it)
mood swings actually I'm having... for so many problems and situations I just cannot deal with...

2. Actually my life didn't got boring... in fact.. so many things happened... but mostly in a bad way... and I don't think I would like to write them here... or maybe I shouldn't... cause its best not to reveal everything....

erm... haha I think just these 2 main points which obviously can be elaborated for pages...

so there you have it... why I'm not updating...

*****************************************************************************

I thought I was stronger... but maybe I was for a period... then I was defeated... by myself.. and everything around me...

I thought I found strength... but my inner hunger made me consume myself and put me in danger...

I realise the words I use... aren't wise... I hurt someone so badly before.... and now... just one bloody conversation actually destroyed a friendship... and all that happiness and hope promised...
I was really looking forward to that happiness I might never get for the next 5 years....
no person ever treated me that good before...

and things changed here in penang... my uncle have a new born son^^
so his kids are his priority right now...
and a lost one who used to cook us great food and bring us around isn't there anymore...
so now I'm stuck here in Penang...
the irony huh? I was really looking forward to come here... but when I got here... eevrything is different...
the feeling isn't the same anymore....
I feel worse... I thought I can recuperate here... restart my system here...
I thought I can run away from all the negativities in Seremban and KL...
but only... I ran into more problems and pain....

but maybe these are all just a perspective...
for being too pessimistic...
but I'm so tired... tired of being optimistic...
because I once was... and I already forgot how it felt to be optimistic... I just remembered how it felt to hope and never get anything I wanted....

I'm so tired right now... I feel wasted...
I hate what I've become...
now I got no mood liao suddenly..
lol
so I stop writing now...

byebye

Conclusion= I'm a hopeless man... a sohai...


LOL
=.=

Crazy for Penang food....

what do a normal, sane mind would do when they first reach Penang?
dive into the crystal clear... sapphire water of the white beaches of Penang or shop at the newest , colossal,gigantesque! malls.... omg! O.O
saya le..
saya makan dulu^^ cause mum mum damn nice... and sinfully CHEAP...
omg=.=....
*drools...*

On friday, a very good friend of mine took me to food Paradise....
MUKYA! XD

and we ordered Curry Mee, Chicken Rice, Prawn Mee (a.k.a Hokkien Mee) and Char Kuey TIAO!!!!!!
in one sitting... lol we shared of course..
oh yeah, and for dessert we had Ais Kacang..
Oh my god...

then we just hang out around.. blah blah blah.. ^^

btw if any of you guys coming to penang
I heard the cendol in penang road is nice
and the duck rice near Prangin mall is awesome!
and the asam laksa in Air Hitam..
but anyways, everywhere also nice de
and try the Lao hao zui.. its a drink.. just order it..
LOL^^

Conclusion = Yay... finally got nice food again ^^


but I haven't go to the beach or shopping yet wo... T_T

GOING OFF TO PENANG LU!!! WHEEE!!!

guys, sayornara ! ^^
haha, I'm going to K.L today... since its 1.40 am right now... which is a Tuesday thank you very much
and then maybe shop a little, if the shopping experience is exciting enough, maybe I'll do another update.. haha
and then... OFF TO PENANG ON THURSDAY!!! YEAY!!!
TO HEAVEN!!!! TO UTOPIA!!! TO PARADISE!!!

and today,which is a Tuesday
I went to visit some distant family members...
then to 1 utama... which I bought a brand new shirt! whee ^^
(nothing much to elaborate....so..)

anyways guys, just to tell you I'm off to my lovely paradise
and I'll do anything to update you guys
I'll go to the cyber cafes... use my cousin's computer..
or even break into some old hag's home...

so...
YAY!!!

Conclusion= YAY!!!

Far away from school~~

Ok ok... sorry for not updating regularly again =.=
haha... but recently I just lost the interest to write again...
I am still me... but not the happy me... I mean, of course I am happy at times.... you guys get it la
still having PMS...lol
Guan Da said its called "Emo Strike" for guys?
but I thought PMS sounds funnier so I'm still gonna use the word PMS~~

anyways, enough with hormones...
and sanitary pads...
its the HOlidays! yay~~...
well even so... sometimes I still feel stressed... if you guys still don't know me.. I don't know how to have fun when I am supposed to and work hard when required...
so I messed up my feelings and energy and in the end I get nothing done...
and I blame myself again..
wow, I am actually causing lots of pressure and chaos to myself aren't I?

but anyways, during the holidays I did enjoyed myself~~
I drank beer...
I ate some very nice food~~
and I watched some very nice moovies~~
and OH MY GOD!!
I REALLY REALLY LOVE MADAGASCAR 2!!
lol its so freaking damn funny, I never really enjoyed laughing to a movie for a long time already....
some people said Madagascar 1 is better... but I kinda forget how was it already... I guess I was very tired when watching it...
but anyways!! LOL the characters are damn funny...
especially King Julien and his gay-ness~~ their expressions are really really incredible...
salutes to the creative team and producers..
and the penguins! lol... and that old lady... who is kinda irritating.. and she walks weird..lol I laugh everytime when I see her walk..=.=
and that big CHIPMUNK thing which cannot stop laughing! -.- lol...
i really love that one...
anyways, its a very very enjoyable show..
I'll recommend it to anyone :D

and I watched James Bond-Quantum of Solace...
lazy to check the dictionary for the meaning though...
damn... I love the action sequence~~ the way the camerawork moves and how the actions choreography was potraited was one hella ride... really intense ^^
and Olga kurylenko is very very sexy~~ and HOT...
szzz......
smokin~~
well of course, I get to become a pig again...
sleep and eat.. and sleep...
and play....

oh yeah, My aunt from penang and kl came!
with my lovely cousins~~
and a friend..
lol who I don't know and don't care to be honest...

and then we catch up on each other lives again over tea...
and my stupid weight gaining plan failed...
miserably.. I actually got to tone my biceps and triceps into a nice shape.. but it went back to girly slim after 3 weeks of not going to the gym=.=.... damn...
I seriously need a membership and a coach or something...

oh yeah, went to Jusco and few times and Kah Moon is working in Skin Food, and boy she does look good with her new hair...
and Jessica...well, she's always her...
she's working in Green Box XD !!!
so enough with this post....
gotta go....Ewww... creeps... we look down on you.... BAhaha...

Conclusion= I ain't doing anything meaningful this holidays... T_T

what now...

so my test 3 is over... 2 days ago...
so what now? fun? well right now I'm not really excited about the break...
got kinda emotional because of numerous factors...

well anyways... I've lost track of my high school friend's life...
and I don't know where to start...

am I really troubled emotionally and physically or is everyone going through the same thing as me... either this is puberty and raging hormones... all its just the dark inner world I'm living in and everything from the past, the present and the future I predict rolled into one ....

once again... I feel trapped...lost...confused... and haunted...
by myself.. time... emotions... people ... past present and future...
I hate myself... for what I am... and sometimes I do love myself... but that's when I thought there are people who love me too... for who I am... but I am actually not just an average guy....
I'm more than that... I think too much... but I cannot stop it... thinking the unnecessary and creating more chaos in my soul and making myself lost in the world that should have never existed...

Dark secrets I have... but other people do... and I know that there are more people out there... far more tragic than me... far more unfortunate...
but I am one of them too....
feeling so lost... and in deep torment...
yeah I know what you are thinking...
"this guy is pitiful"
"get over it"..."move on"..."be positive" blah blah blah...
tell me something I haven't heard of please...

**************************************
anyways, that was what how I felt yesterday... and almost everyday....
I stopped writing halfway, today is a Monday.... a morning... where I woke up like last time... greeted by birds... and I can sleep well again...
ah... I miss the holidays...

and the way my mood changes like a girl=.=

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!!

CONCLUSION= cause you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no~~ you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down, you're wrong when its right, its black and its white,we fight we break up, we kiss , we make up~~~ LOL I love that song~~

ARGHH!!!!!

TOMOROW FINAL EXAM LIAO LA!!!!!

IF I DONT PASS ALL= 60% AND ABOVE
I'M GONNA LOOSE MY SCHOLARSHIP!!!!

HELP!!!!!

CONCLUSION = AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

on the bright side, after my finals, can blog again liao lu...
cause..
HOLIDAYS!!!
WOOPEE! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! to me.. hee ^^

WA not bad wer...
as I thought that my 18th birthday will turn sucky and hit the sewage...
it actually turned out better ^^
A WHOLE LOT BETTER HONESTLY!

because you know, normally, as previous years my examinations will clash with this wonderful date ^^ and all I can do is sit down in my dining room... stare at my textbook.. and cry... whole day long... thinking how come I'm so sad...
LOL of course not=.=
usually, I'll just have a nice helping of delicious cake and sparkling juice! ^^
oouh I love sparkling juice....
sparkling juice...

with my lovely family... and so sad I never really got to celebrate with my friends especially my close ones T_T

but at least I received some heart touching presents before, so thanks guys for those presents :D

and this year was down-right ridiculous =.=
because I dunno why everyone started wishing me so many days before my birthday...
and one kiddo actually greeted me everyday since 1/10 until my actual birthday...lol
I must have did something pretty illuminating in his life ...
but honestly la... its weird to received birthday wishes few days before your actual birthdate..
give full blow ma^^

this year a lot of people greet me wer.. surprisingly, most of them I only met and bonded this year ^^
I honestly didn't expect much of this because I thought I'm kinda nobody in college...
so thanks anyway :)

oh yeah, sorry Christine =.=
lol I know you wanted to give me a surprise but I accidentally saw you passing my birthday card..so.. haha
and I am frankly, touched by you,Yong Han,and 234 because you guys planned my birthday surprise 1 week ago le...
I felt really blessed....
with the cake being ordered and the present bought one week ago... that really touched me T_T
i wanna cry already...

=.=

LOL

wa... and the birthday card was handmade wer...
and thanks so much again to those sweet and lovely comments^^

well, I had Dominos Pizza for dinner but that was really lovely to be frank..
cause I never had that pizza before and GOD I LOVE THE CHEESE
YOU GUYS YOU SHOULD TRY IT TOO!!

and after having dinner, I went to watch an episode of Taiwan Soap Opera ma... then suddenly hor... the whole room went dark !!!
O.O

lol, I thought what the hell happened!
kena robbed ah?
and when i turned around, someone smacked me in the neck so hard that i fainted...
and when I woke up...
I found myself in a luxurious restaurant with marble tiles...
and fully blossomed flowers... and champagne
with my friends sitting of opposite me with wider smiles...
and I think this is too exaggerating liao so I pull back...
pull....
back to..
reality...
LOL
sorry la , I just like to fantasise sometimes..
(hope you guys know what's happening)

so when I turned around, I saw candle lights slowing eating the darkness from one corner
and I thought "ouh...surprise ^^"
and my housemates sang me the Birthday Song ^^
and I was shocked when I look at what was written on the cake..
LOL



well, I would love to tell you fake,grandfather stories of a luxurious birthdays
like that crazy MTV show where those bloody loaded girls... no I mean bloody girls with loaded fathers...what was that show again?
oh.. My Super Sweet 16...
god.. you guys should see one of the episodes..
they have their birthday like they're gonna die the next day...
with sports cars as presents... designers clothes, and hot chicks... and celebrities.. and scrumptious food... and that extravagant entrance....
oh whatever...
you know what I think?

Honestly, our birthday isn't just a day where we celebrate the life of that particular person only
as most of you guys know but forget, our birthday is also the date where our mother gave us life... and struggled with death...
we celebrate that person as a whole and the people around him, which undeniably shaped him and grow with him... so a birthday isn't just a day for one bloke... its a day for everyone
which means to say, I am thankful for you guys, each and everyone of you for growing up with me and inspiring me...
and I love you mom ^^

(lol, hope I don't sound too gay )

I am happy with what I have now and I really love my friends :D
so, again, thanks so much for the whole celebration ...
I'm not used to being pampered...lol

so I'm really uneasy and feeling a little bit guilty frankly because everyone is treating me so lovely and I thought I was such a mean and cold person...
so ... I will be better to you guys...
and cherish you people everyday^^
(btw I saw these on the net... and I thought to myself.. I must get one of these my future birthday^^)
haha...
say it with me...
WA-LAO

Conclusion : I love you guys so much XD and this day really meant a lot to me and touched me in so many ways so.... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!!!
TERIMA KASIH!!
谢谢！！！！